Monday, August 1

Echoes from the Heavenly Spheres

I am indebted to Laura at Dance of The Mind
for her valuable suggestions prior to posting this poem.

The heavens expand forever in light
A spirit of energy with all of its might
Its intentions are clear, no anger from heat
Compassion and reverence to all at its feet

The earth is its identity like a childhood embrace
Its inhabitants restrict poor nature its place
Depletes mother earth of land water and air
Flash from red sunspots, a message board date

Behold your light flickers; its light is less bright
Wrestle your conscious, your rivers loose flow
The land soon a desert, I see through dim light
Its time for re birth, its time for new life

We share in the wounds of a glorious earth
Time for healing, to embrace its wide girth
Sustain what’s sustainable, our garden of life
Continue forever as our precious light

2 comments:

Mrs Povo said...

I like this poem - clever use of language to express an idea. My suggestion would be to work on the flow of it a little more as when you read it you get used to a sort of rhyming formula but then you’re thrown off in verses 2 and 3 which don’t flow in the same way. I think it’s better to stick with one rhyming method, or use 1 plus another type for a chorus, for example. Also I’m not clear on the meaning of
Flash from red sunspots, a message board date and ..
Behold your light flickers; its light is less bright
Wrestle your conscious, your rivers loose flow.

I'd like to hear what your intentions with these lines.

I hope you don't mind my comments.

vanessa byrnes said...

lindsays lobes talents are many - poetry as well :)